But you haven't matched the experience

The hierarchy of needs for a website might look like

Invisibility Scalability Functionality Usability Accessibility

and we have accessibility (many unblocked platforms) and usability (decently fast), but we don't have any of the others. We don't have functionality - nothing's easy to use and deploy to yet. We don't have scalability - it's hard to support multiple apps. And we definitely don't have invisiblity - we're a while from the platform disappearing into the background.

The annoying thing is we're almost there

Name Usable hostname Speed Good free tier
GCP VM ⚠️
Fly container ⚠️
GCP CR Serverless ⚠️ ⚠️
Fastly Serverless ⚠️
Cloudflare Workers ❌ (blocked)
Vercel Serverless ❌ (blocked)
Deno Serverless
Azure Functions Containers ⚠️
Val (Serverless)

but we haven't matched the experience quite yet.

So at this point there are 5 workarounds we can deploy:

At this point, I know what to do, and I think I'm ready to match the experience.